Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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