how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
