Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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