rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
