You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
