I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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