just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
