i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
