i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
