so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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