also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
