weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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