Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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