you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
