I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
