She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
