did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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