Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
