if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
did you just send me my own nude
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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