btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
