I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
where am i from again
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
