Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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