If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
