Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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