respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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