I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
