apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
