Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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