so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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