My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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