Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
