i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
