I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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