I'm pants shitting drunk right now
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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