I puked a lego.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
