There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
