So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
