no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
