He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
