Christians are straight up FREAKS
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
