seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
