You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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