Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
