I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
