Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
