Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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