They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
