Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
