so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
