My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
