dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
