i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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