I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
