apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
