dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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