***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What drink are we having for lunch?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
