he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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