Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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