how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
