Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
