So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
