FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
