Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
