oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
