Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
